BrookeM bitchtits™

tumblr, i’m worried. i’m really worried. i really do like my boyfriend and i love him as a person but being poly.. i compare him to my girlfriend and i’ve known her so much longer and i know her so much better.. what if i start resenting jay for not being like cait?

i desperately want my girlfriend in my bed. i am feeling so incredibly horny. it’s frustrating being an animal some times, craving sex. ugh.

hopefully jason helps make up for it this weekend. i am so keen for friday, and pretty anxious for saturday!

caitlin is now my girlfriend. oh, i am so happy. not only is she an amazing person but she’s a beautiful soul. after eight years, we’ve finally taken it to the next step ^-^

things with elena are definitely on track. we’re getting to know each other so much more intensley and we’re complete opposites which i find work so amazingly well for us.

jason is sleeping over this friday and with my sisters 21st birthday happening, he’ll be meeting my whole family. for those of you who know me, you know how big of a step that is for me. i’m so happy though.

i have three of the most amazing people in my life and i could not be happier.

when i was thirteen my girlfriend of the time, evette, was my valentine. when i was fourteen my best friend(of the time)’s younger brother, bailey, was my valentine. when i was fifteen and sixteen my boyfriend, ashton, was my valentine. there are a few people i want to be my valentine this year so i’m thinking of buying a rose for all of them. i’ll have more than one valentine. fuq da police.

i love that my ex is desperately trying to prove how ‘over me’ he really is by proposing to his current girlfriend of a month. i don’t even take the proposal seriously let alone his argument. LAWL. oh wow. this has not only given me a good chuckle but a sense of assurance in the decision i made to leave his arse :’D ALSO CONGRATULATIONS TO ME FOR GETTING INTO ROXBURGH COLLEGE! ^-^

i honestly don’t even know how to feel. i have a sneaking suspicion that me ex’s current girl is pregnant. i say girl because that’s what she is, a girl. a young, naive and for the most part, innocent little girl. i’m a little upset to be completely honest. he is the only man i could ever picture myself having kids with. the only man i could ever trust enough (in a child-baring sense) to have children with. i’m angry because they initially went behind my back, like rats, and kept me in the dark about everything. my friend and my best friend dating was hard enough but to start a family? really? over the three years that we were friends and the two that we lived together and dated.. i came to love and fall in love with him. maybe breaking up wasn’t the right thing to do but it’s done now. it didn’t have to end up this way, us fighting all the time and hating each other but it did. no matter how hard i tried to repair things for my nephews/niece’s sake, it just didn’t work and as ignorant as it may sound, of no fault of my own. i’m so confused on how i should feel, i mean morals are thrown right out the window when it comes to emotions. i’m angry, i’m hurt.. i’m devastated. if she is pregnant, i’d not hold on any more, we’d have no friendship, it would be over. if she isn’t then i’d be glad but i’m just not sure how this is supposed to work. i don’t even know if any of this makes sense. 
how am i supposed to be friends with him?